Welcome to the Middle

Sometimes I feel squeezed from both ends. Today was especially difficult with my dad. He seemed confused and it was hard to communicate with him. This is new. I'm realizing how this last episode has been  a huge setback for him. I am still grieving his loss of independence from last October. Now I realize his October abilities look like the American colonies in 1776 compared to now. New grief. 

My heart aches for one of my girls going through a difficult situation. Young people don't especially like to be written about  in their mother's blogs, so I won't. Except to talk about my part, which is how sad my heart is when something sad happens to one of my children when she is living far away. There's so little I can do, and it makes me sad that I can't fix it, or help her, or even give her a hug. I just want to make her a cup of tea or buy her chocolate or cover her with a warm quilt. Instead I can only pray for her, and hope things turn around for her soon. 

Kelly is working as a nanny. This means that someone pays her to go to wherever she wants, do whatever she wants, and work in her jammies if she wants, as long as she takes the baby with her. She can go to Starbucks, run errands, surf the Internet at naptime, and be completely free with no responsibilities after 5 p.m.  Today she wrote " I felt like a grown up this morning when I got ready for work, dropped the baby at day care, and then listened to NPR on the way to volunteer at [the older sibling's] school." Kelly has not asked for money since last July. Molly and Brenna have not only asked for money, but also my car  and my frequent flier miles. Welcome to the middle.