A student’s mom wrote me a sympathy card containing some Bible verses she thought would be comforting. It was very sweet, and I appreciate the card very much. The card led to a new understanding about my sadness. The verses were all about the afterlife. How Jesus will take away the pain of death, and how He is preparing us a place in Heaven. I realized I already knew all this. I believe it firmly. I have no doubts that Mom is in Heaven, where there is no more sickness, or injustice, or poverty, or evil. I know she’s in a better place. That is not what I’m sad about. What I’m sad about is that for ME, right now, she is gone. I’m self-centered, and full of self-pity. She’s happy, but I’m not. My life is like a puzzle that has been dumped out. I’ve lost much of my family of origin, and I don’t know what life will be like in the future. I’m trying to put the pieces back together, but I don’t have a picture of what the completed puzzle is supposed to look like! I don’t know if the pieces are all there to put it back together. I don’t have the energy to work it out. And I feel like a two year old who can’t have what she wants. And so I cry. Not for Mom. For myself.