Sunday, December 21, 2008

This is Why I Haven't Posted

Since the Gingerbread party, I taught school, decided to have my dad move in with me permanently, met with a realtor, starting cleaning out Dad's house, had the locks changed, found he had a leak in the roof, hired a roofer, went to the cardiologist, taught school, discovered the furnace had broken and was spewing gas into the cabinet, met with furnace salespeople, came home one afternoon dead tired rejoicing that nothing was on the docket, found my dad very ill that same day, called 911, spent until 1 am in the ER, met with the cardiologist again, attended a very fun work  party, and cried a million tears. 

The last visit to the ER, I drove Dad to his house and called 911 from there, since when the ambulance comes to my house we go to CMH hospital and from Dad's house it's to SJRMC hospital, where his ten doctors are. The ambulance drivers knew us because this is our fifth 911 call in two months. They said "Boy, it's really cold in here. Why don't you turn on the heat?" So next time I should drive him to his house, heat up the whole house, THEN call 911?! Then I wouldn't look like a bad daughter who can't even give her poor father a warm place to recuperate. As it turns out SJRMC was full and we ended up at CMH anyway. Sigh. Let me just hit my head against this wall for awhile. They were kind and knowledgeable there, but there really is no solution to Dad's issues. He is on medications for both his heart and his kidneys. When you adjust the heart medications, the kidneys fail. When you adjust the kidney meds, the heart goes into atrial fibulation. It's a fine line. Dad is insistent on going to San Francisco tomorrow to spend Christmas with his sister, while I head to El Salvador to be with Brenna. I have mixed feelings about going. If he dies while I am gone, will I be able to live with that? If I stay and he's fine, will I be able to live with that? I have to sort of go with what HE wants. He'll be in the best hands at my aunt's house, and my cousin is a registered nurse. I'm torn up inside. 

Molly and Kelly are home, and that makes me happy. I'm really proud of my three daughters. Jim's home, too, and I love him and am thankful I have such a great husband/partner/friend. 

No comments: