Thursday, December 4, 2008

We're in the ER again. Darn.

I changed young lives for two hours this morning, when it became apparent to my husband that my dad was not doing well again. I came home at 10 am. SJRMC hospital is closer to our house than CMH hospital, but the ambulance service won’t believe the most trustworthy information provider ever: Google. The ambulance service people prefer to rely on their own pea brains which claim that 6 miles is shorter than 5. WHATEVER.  We drove to Dad’s and called 911 from there so we could go to SJRMC. When the ambulance arrived and they asked what hospital, I told them, and then they said “Well, we may have to take you to CMH because SJRMC is full.” AAAGGGGHHHH. I feel like I have something figured out, then another thing blindsides me. I can handle A. I’m good at A. I’ve learned about A. Then it’s B. Gotcha! Sigh. I’m becoming far too competent at these medical things: take Dad’s precious Cross pen out of his pocket and leave it at home, guard the hearing aids, get a list of medications, pick up the notebook with the medical history, then grab the phone charger and a bunch of food. At the hospital: keep track of every doctor's name, the nurses are your best source of information, don't ask questions while a doctor is thinking or reading a chart b/c you will interrupt his train of thought, the coffee lady is very sweet, there's no wireless anywhere, and when people get to know you, they try to help. 

So, we’ve been in the ER for a million hours. Tomorrow maybe I’ll be able to do something more fun, like have a root canal or be pecked by a thousand chickens, or get to watch ten crying infants. But for now I’m stuck in ER hell. And I’m so tired I can’t even watch my language. I’m way past the end of my rope. I’ve let go of the rope and I’m in freefall. They’re going to admit Dad to the hospital. My friend RP assures me that I’ll make it through and look back on this as a rich time. The intimacy I will gain when I walk with someone through the shadows of life will add richness to my own life that I will always treasure.  At least that’s what she says. My brain is too full of mush to know whether that’s true. I have no deep thoughts. Only blathering. Please let me lay in my bed and drink tea and surf the Internet. PLEASE!!! 

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